It was a dark and stormy evening. The rain fell down in torrents. Luckily, I was on a luxury train with olympic gymnasts and a bottle of booze.
Intro plays.
We get an image of our brave """hero""" sitting in the wagon with a totally hot gymnast sitting down with him.'
[[Then we're taken to the murder scene->murder.scene]]Now our intrepid hero will be shown the body Agnes Christensen, a young and promising gymnast. To be fair, she usually broke her promises.
Skirtlook will look at various things about the body. Eventually he will find his decisive clue: A ball hair. That is a piece of hair that have grown all its life on a testicle.
[[Next scene, the train car->train.car]]When you're in the train car there are various things you can do.
Talk to [[Sam->talk.to.sam]]
Talk to [[Alex->talk.to.alex]]
Talk to [[Robin->talk.to.robin]]
Talk to [[Jamie->try.talk.to.jamie]]
Check out [[the toilet->the.toilet]]
[[Explore->explore.car]] the car
When you have found out who the culprit is you can [[finger her as the suspect->finger.the.suspect]]Ask [[Sam what she was doing while on the train->sam.actions]]
Ask if [[Sam has a feminine penis->sam.feminine.penis]]
Ask [[who the transwoman is->sam.transwoman]]
Ask Sam [[about woodworking->sam.woodworking]]
After interrogating this gymnast you can go [[back->train.car]]You can ask her about her [[actions->alex.actions]],
if she [[likes woodworking->alex.woodworking]],
whether she has a [[schlong in her thong->alex.penis]]
or if she knows who the [[transwoman is->alex.transwoman]]
After interrogating this gymnast you can go [[back->train.car]]You can ask her about her [[actions->robin.actions]],
if she [[likes woodworking->robin.woodworking]],
whether she has a [[set of manly attributes down below->robin.penis]]
or if she knows who the [[transwoman is->robin.transwoman]]
After interrogating this gymnast you can go [[back->train.car]]You're trying to talk to Jamie, but the very protective trainer (who's built like an URAL truck, but you must admit, a feminine URAL truck.
If you have not yet figured out how to get her to leave, you have to [[go back->train.car]].
If you have figured it out, you can proceed to [[talk to Jamie->talk.to.jamie]]The toilet has left its seat up.
This is a massive clue! Whoever used the toilet last left the seat up. That can only mean one thing. Our Transmurderer must have sprang a leak here!
[[back->train.car]]At this point you can finger the suspect. Not in that way. I mean, given how the layout would be it would be kinda hard, I think.
[[You finger the suspect, but it was you all along! What a tweest!->Shaiamaiadingdong]]
[[You finger the correct transpect->right.one]]
[[You finger a suspect, but they're all trans, so...->all.trans]]Sam says she was "in the bathroom".
Talk more to [[Sam->talk.to.sam]]Sam does not have a feminine penis.
She gets rather angry when you ask her.
*SLAAAAAP!*
Her feelings are hurt, and so is your face.
Talk more to [[Sam->talk.to.sam]]As you finger the suspect, flip the skirt, and you see... no penis whatsoever. The cringey silence is palpable. You can only hear the train slowly screeching to a halt. The train's conductor comes rushing aboard the train with the local Militsiya. He shows everyone a video from the night of the murder. Skirtlook Holmes killed the victim and teabagged her.
He's taken away after the customary beating and mugshot, thrown in the back of a van.
*You are winner!*
[[Play again?->opening]]You accuse the squirming suspect, lifting her skrit up.
vegetables.gif
The Militsiya burst into the car and takes her away. Another job well done!
*You are winner!*
[[Play again?->opening]]You accuse the suspect, and flip her skirt.
vegetables.gif
They all are amazed by your deduction. The police comes and takes her away. Later that night Skirtlook takes to the toilet and closes the booth. Three women come in, and all urinals are suddenly used.
*You are winner?*
[[Play again?->opening]]Sam says that she doesn't know who it could be. It certainly isn't her. When you press her she produces evidence: She gives you a slightly used tampon.
RECEIVED: Slightly used tampon.
[[Talk more to Sam->talk.to.sam]] You think you see a [[bottle of some sorts to the back of the car->ketchup]]
That's a [[strange magazine lying there, I wonder what it is?->woodworking.weekly]]
Hmm... It seems the girls have a bunch of [[pills->car.pills]] in a big bag. Are they drugging themselves?
You feel that you've explored enough, go back to the [[train car->train.car]]It's a bottle of Honest Chestny's REAL Кетчуп, made with TRADITIONAL овечья кровь
Wait, doesn't krov' mean... Блууд? I mean, blood?
If you have already discovered the tampon, then you will now have the option to check if the taste is the same. It is.
Regardless you will now pick up the Кетчуп bottle.
Knows-about-ketchup flag is now set to true
[[Explore more?->explore.car]]
[[Or do you want to do something else?->train.car]]It's an issue of woodworking weekly. Everything you need to know about wood.
How do you get wood? What do you do with your wood? How do you maintain wood? All this and more in one handy weekly magazine.
There are approximately three women in the universe who does woodworking, the odds of more than one of them being in the car is approximately nil. If only you could find who owned this magazine...|
[[Explore more?->explore.car]]
[[Or do you want to do something else?->train.car]]Sam says that she hasn't worked with wood since high school, but you're fairly certain you're talking about different types of wood.
[[Talk more to Sam->talk.to.sam]] Alex is suddenly very cagey, and doesn't want to answer, but you press on.
She finally mutters that she was reading. What was she reading? She was reading about reading ^^about woodwordking^^
What?
Woodworking.
As it turns out, Alex is from a small Transnistrian village where they made bird houses during the communist era, using timber imported from Siberia, they would make bird houses for the glory of the Soviet Union. Even after the wall fell they kept it up for their own sakes, and now there are more bird houses than people houses. It's just a thing. Besides, lots of girls like wood working. For example, Sam said that she loves getting wood too!
Hm... sounds like you should [[talk more to Alex->talk.to.alex]]Alex breaks down and confesses. She has always loved woodworking. The feel of solid wood in her hand, and her ability to shape it and manipulate it has always filled her with happiness.
She swears she only buys the magazine for the articles. The pictures of Hunky Harry and Absman Abe is just a bonus.
Okay? Well, you're glad you've cleared that up. Do you want to [[ask her more questions->talk.to.alex]], or do you want to [[do something else->train.car]]?Alex is indignant about this question. She would never buy a dildo, because steel and silicone are not merely inferior material (She'd probably build railroad tracks in oak if she could figure out how), but it's also a poor replacement for the real thing. When asked if she has a real one, she just look at you as if you're an idiot and tells you that yes, she does have a boyfriend, and that you're being a creep.
Well, [[you might want to ask her more question->talk.to.alex]], or maybe go do [[do something else->train.car]] altogether.Alex looks at you for a long embarrasing moment before simply pointing out that the engineer was as far as she knew, a man. She hasn't ever seen him or her before, so she would have no idea. It seems she's an idiot savant who only knows wood and gymnastics.
Maybe you should [[ask her something else->talk.to.alex]], or maybe do [[do something else->train.car]] entirely
Robin insists that she was knitting in her chair when the unpleasantness happened. Because she is a proper lady. She also insinuates that she will gouge out your eyes with her knitting needles if you don't believe her when she says she's a proper lady and not some sort of man-freak.
Do you want to [[talk with Robin some more->talk.to.robin]], or do you want to [[do something else->train.car]]? Robin laughs at your question. Evidently to her, only men work their wood. *Real women*, and she says it like she's trying to badmouth someone, don't do that sort of thing.
Hmm... do you want to [[talk to her some more->talk.to.robin]], or maybe you'd rather [[do something else->train.car]]?No. Just like you.
Well at least she didn't slap you.
Get some ice water for your burn, and [[talk to her some more->talk.to.robin]], or just leave [[and do something else->train.car]] //slaaaaaaap!!!//
The pain is sharp and immediate.
In the oncoming storm of exquisite verbal abuse, sounding very much like the what you'd hear in the cheapest sailor-taverns in Nikolayevsk-on-Amur. In fact the way she called you a "[[бесплодный карлик->translate.infertile.dwarf]]", sounds like an old flame in those younger seafaring ways. It would have been funny if there were a relation, but you decide to not push the issue. She nevertheless denies being transwoman.
Well, you can [[talk to her some more->talk.to.robin]], or just leave [[and do something else->train.car]][[It means "infertile dwarf". It's pronounced as "besplodny' karlik.->robin.transwoman]]You can ask her about her [[actions->jamie.actions]],
if she [[likes woodworking->jamie.woodworking]],
whether she has a [[one eyed trouser snake->jamie.penis]]
or if she knows who the [[transwoman is->jamie.transwoman]]
After interrogating this gymnast you can go [[back->train.car]]Jamie informs you that she was all alone with the coach, who tried to protect her from herself for some reason. She means well, but she can be so stifling. Jamie is a friendly girl it seems, and she just wants to make new friends.
She seems like a very nice person. Speaking to her makes you smile inside, and you feel like you should spend some more time with her.
You could [[talk more to Jamie->talk.to.jamie]] or maybe you'd rather [[do something else->train.car]]?Jamie says that she isn't into carpentry herself, but she knows that Alex does it. She says that Alex is really good at it, and makes amazing bird houses. It's something that they do in her village? Herself, she likes a different type of wood, she jokes. You both laugh. You feel a bit strange in a good way. In a way you're reminded of your younger days as a sailor, flirting with the women in the seedy taverns of Nikolayevsk-on-Amur.
You could [[talk more to Jamie->talk.to.jamie]] or maybe you'd rather [[do something else->train.car]]?No, I don't have a penis. I wouldn't mind getting one though. Are you offering? Well...
You could [[talk more to Jamie->talk.to.jamie]] or maybe you'd rather [[do something else->train.car]]?Jamie is surprised by the concept, but doesn't seem too weirded out by it. She does find it a bit strange. After all, Alex likes woodworking but that doesn't make her a man. Robin can be a bit too... direct, but that just means she's from a poor family. Sam can be a bit too angry at times, but she's still a woman, right? Herself, she just tries to be nice to people and make friends.*
I mean, she says, smiling, looking at you, touching her hair a bit, we could all use more friends, couldn't we? Yes, yes we could.
You could [[talk more to Jamie->talk.to.jamie]] or maybe you'd rather [[do something else->train.car]]?
Eller som 99% +/- en prosent av alle jenter sier: Jeg er ikke som andre jenter... :DThe bag contains completely legal and innocent diet supplements. There's some whey, some cod liver oil, and a big bottle of zinc pills.
The zinc bottle has a warning printed on it:
*Warning!* Do not take more than 3 pills per day, or your lower bowel movements will go unopposed. You will soil yourself, or be stuck on a toilet for the rest of the day. You have been warned. In order to prevent people accidentally swallowing these, we have made them taste like fine mocha. Nobody likes mocha, so according to Legal, this is sufficient.
Hmmm.... maybe you can [[use this to get the coach to leave?->shitstorm.coffee]], or maybe not. Maybe [[you should just go back->explore.car]] and explore more instead.You put the pills into a cup, and use the coffeemaker to make a cuppa. The coach happily attacks. _Спасибо_! She says and drink the whole thing in a single gulp. Then she stands very still, excuses herself and with a speed only seen in cartoons, runs from the seat to the women's toilet and locks herself in the women's bathroom.
If you *have* inspected the bathroom before: "Блядь!Блядь!Блядь!" and other things we will not translate from Russian to preserve our age ratings are heard before there is embarassing silence and everyone does their best to pretend that nothin has happened. At least you can talk to Jamie now.
If you *have* *not* insepcted the bathroom before: "Блядь!Блядь!Блядь!" and other things we will not translate from Russian to preserve our age ratings are heard. Then there's a second scream. It contains words like "Сука" and similar. In between the impolite language you can hear that someone left the toilet seat up... But why would they do that? Women don't do that... Do they? Or maybe... the killer was the last one to use the toilet before the murder!
You should now [[go back->train.car]] and do something else.